SPEAK USING THE FIRST-PERSON "I"
This allows you to own your statements and to avoid speaking in general statement.

AVOID SPEAKING FOR OTHERS.
Don't say things like, "Most people feel . . . ."

SPEAK DIRECTLY TO OTHERS.
When someone speaks to you, look at them and answer them instead of speaking to the group or to the facilitator. However, when expressing an idea or feeling meant for all, look at the whole group, including all in your eye contact.

SPEAK FROM YOUR HONEST FEELINGS AND THOUGHTS.
Don't say things because you think it is what others want to hear.

BE AWARE OF YOUR THOUGHTS AND FEELING OF THE MOMENT.

BE AWARE OF YOUR BODY POSITIONS AND MESSAGES.
Are you sweating? Are you blushing? Is your heart pounding?

BE AS SPONTANEOUS A POSSIBLE.
Don't plan your comments, speak to what you are thinking and feeling at the time.

BE AWARE OF THE ROLES YOU TAKE WITH OTHER PEOPLE.
We often act the same way in similar situations. Look for patterns.

BE AWARE OF HOW PEOPLE IN THE GROUP REMIND YOU OF OTHER PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE.
If someone in the group acts or looks like someone you know, try to recognize this. It can often be helpful in resolving old or new problems.

LISTEN TO OTHERS IN THE GROUP.
Pay attention and don't jump to conclusions. If necessary, ask for clarification.

EXPECT SOME PERIODS OF SILENCE.
Use this time to be aware of what is happening inside you.

KEEP GROUP INFORMATION IN THE GROUP.
What is said in this group process must be kept confidential in order to create a safe environment for everyone to feel free to share their thoughts and feelings; to explore their relationships in a climate of trust and openness.

(Adapted from "How to Benefit from Group Process", Carrie Hansen, LCSW, and Rev. Vince O'Brien, S.J.)